Exorcising the Public Speaking Demons
“I'm such a fraud. No one wants to hear me speak. I'm not even a good speaker. I'm going to FAIL!”
These were all the thoughts running through my mind as I stepped up to the podium for the first time when I was in 10th grade.
I was always too preoccupied with the my communication demons to focus on my speech.
What I was telling myself was driving a wedge between myself and my audience. My negative self-talk affected my ability to connect. It also drove a wedge between myself a good grade. I got a C in my first ever speech class!
I commonly see speakers battling their own communication demons when they speak. Demons manifest in various ways:
- Speaker who is too nervous to make eye contact or speak above a whisper
- An inappropriate to the content self-deprecating comment about a personal characteristic. “I know I am the oldest person here.” Really, I wasn't thinking about your age until you mentioned it.
- A member of the audience asks a question and the speaker gets hostile because she feels challenged.
All of these behaviors reflect the speaker's internal communication demons. The question becomes to exorcise your communication demons.
- You have to acknowledge the demon and then replace the negative self-talk with positive self-talk. Executive communication coach, Angela DeFinis suggest that you “fill your mind with rich and empowering statements that make you feel great.” Instead of thinking “I sure suck at speaking” think “I can do this. I have a message my audience needs to hear.”
- Stage time, Stage time, Stage time as Darren LaCroix would say. The more you speak the more comfortable you are and the better able you are to squash the voices of the public speaking demon.
- Use music. Before a big presentation, I listen to music that pumps me up and drowns out my inner self-critic. Right now, my inspirational music is Florence + the Machine “Shake it out”.
How do you exorcise your communication demons before a high stake presentation or meeting? Please share your comments below or on the Relationally Speaking Facebook page.
