3 Ways to Infuse Your Communication with Positivity
Think about the last time you were having an amazing day, a day where everything seemed to be going right. 
Maybe you got that promotion you were craving with a big raise. You heard the words “I love you” for the first time from that new guy or gal you are dating. Perhaps, your kid drew you the cutest picture in the world that you are now proudly displaying on your bulletin board at work.
When you think about that day, did you notice that more people wanted to talk to you? Your boss lingered longer at your doorway for a chat or a complete stranger complimented you. People just seemed to want to be around you.
Now, think of a day where NOTHING was going right. You were late for work. You got into a fight with your honey. The principal called because your kid dropped the F-bomb in class. You just can’t seem to catch a break. There is negative cloud hanging around you like the dirt cloud around Pigpen from the Peanuts comic.
On that day, when you were seething with negativity, how did people react to you? Did they seem to avoid you? Did they just say what they needed to say to you and got out of your way? Did strangers on the street avoid your gaze?
Why does this happen?
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Push-pull effect of communication
Our communication magnetizes people towards us or propels them away. This is what I call the push-pull effect of communication. Anytime you open your mouth you are either going to pull people toward your orbit or push them out of a 12-story window.
As a speaker, leader, business owner or manager, it is your job to magnetize people toward you. You want to pull them in. You need to engage your audience. It's all about creating an environment of positivity that people thrive in. When you are positive, people are pulled to you. You're immediately more charismatic and the person everyone wants to be around.
Here are 3 ways to infuse your communication with positivity even if you don't feel sparkling with positivity at the moment.
1. Smile
I know it's hard to smile when you are having a crap day, but just the act of smiling actually makes you feel better. As a speaker, I've had no-good, very bad, awful days and have to speak. As I take the stage, I make sure I greet my audience with the best smile I can muster. They smile back – and I'm already feeling better.
Greeting people with a smile says that you are friendly and open to communication. It's also a nice way to uplift someone else's spirit when they are having a bad day.
2. Eye contact
See people. Really see them. Look them in the eye. At the core, people want to be acknowledged. They want to know they are important to you. When you are chatting, put down the laptop, smart phone or Kindle and make eye contact.
The Heath brothers in their bestseller, Switch, discuss a manager who had an open door policy with her employees. They could come in whenever they wanted to and get her help. Naturally, she received high marks on her review for openness and communication, right? Wrong. Her workers would come in and she stared at her computer the whole time. Ouch. She didn't look at them when they were speaking. When she rearranged her office so she could face her employees without distraction – her communication marks skyrocketed.
Everyone just wants to be seen.
3. Listen – really listen
People want to been seen and heard. As a leader, there comes a time when you have to shut up and listen to your 
employees. Be present. Focus on what is being said. If your mind begins to wander, re-focus on what the other person is saying. If you’re thinking about how to respond to what’s being said, you’re not listening. Tune in!
If you are a speaker, take advantage of the opportunity to listen to people's stories and questions after the presentation. Be interactive during the presentation. Take questions during your presentation. The opportunity for you to listen to your audience makes them feel heard. It also provides you with valuable feedback!
Positive communications make you sparkle as a leader, speaker or just a plain old human being. Smiling, eye contact and listening are crucial components of infusing sparkling positivity into how you speak. What is your best tip to be more engaging and draw people in? Share your inspired thoughts below.
Excellent tips, Michelle! I always say that we can’t control what happens around us, but we can control how we respond to it. I think that makes a big impact on our demeanor.
One I would add to the list is using people’s names. People love hearing their own name. When you use it in conversations, people really tend to light up. And, it makes you feel good too. 🙂
Oh Laura, that’s a great one. Hearing your name used does make people sparkle a bit more. Plus, it says I see you and remember you. Thanks for the bonus tip!
I’ve always done well talking to one other person. Eye contact was a no-brainer. The challenge for me is eye contact with an audience of 20, 100 or 1,000. Those old tips about picturing the audience in their underwear didn’t work for me. Looking above their heads didn’t work for me. Then a person smarter than I suggested this: Look at one person, speak a thought. Move eye contact to another person, speak a thought, move eye contact to another person, et cetera. This helps make that all important CONNECTION between speaker and audience. This is something I want to be better at. I’ve tried it and I like it! I get to see the impact of my thoughts on others, something I had been missing and didn’t even realize it! My audience likes it too. It’s a win-win! Yay!