Be Friends with the Boss
“Hey, I've got to show you this” said my manager.
I expected to see some type of data table or PowerPoint slide, but instead he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a video of his son with the cape of a superhero running around the house saving the day. It was adorable and my manager was beaming as he shared it with me.
Fast Company recently had an article about the “7 Things Your Employee will Never Tell You” and #1 is “I don't care about your personal life”. It's more a warning for managers just not to talk about themselves.
BUT, I do care about my boss's personal life and here is why you should care about your manager's too.
Bosses are People too
There I've said it – your boss is actually a human being. However, if your manager doesn't let you in and self-disclose a bit about him/herself it is easy to see them as anything but human. They are just a person who barks orders at you. By getting to know your boss (and let your boss know you), you see them as a human being that you might actually like. My manager knows all about my neurotic cat who only tolerates my boyfriend, and I know all about his adorable son. It makes work so much more fun if you know that your boss is a person too.
Creates Openings for Questioning
I can be a pain in the butt. I like to know why I am being asked to do certain tasks. It helps me understand the job I'm doing. When you have a relationship with your boss, it is easier to ask “Why am I doing this?” without looking like you are questioning orders. Ultimately, this led to better work for our clients. It also led to a more collaborative relationship between my manager and myself
Feedback is Reciprocal
Being friends with your boss, creates an environment where feedback can be reciprocal. It is standard that a manager provides an employee with an evaluation. If you have a trusting relationship with your manager, there is an opportunity to give feedback to them. My manager once asked me to give feedback on a white paper he had written. When I gave him the white paper back, it look liked I bled all over it with my red pen. If I didn't have a good relationship with him, I would have been TERRIFIED to give that kind of feedback. I knew he didn't want the “You are wonderful, intelligent, and I worship you” type of feedback. He wanted feedback that would make the paper better not boost his ego
Be friends with your boss – they are human beings just like you and it can only improve your work! There is one caveat – your manager is NOT your therapist (your employee is NOT your therapist). Be judicious in what you decide to self-disclose.
What do you think? Should you be friends with your boss? Leave a comment below.
Hmmm… I have never been friends with my boss, that I can think of. I have found it kind of dangerous to be too open– it´s been my experience they may turn on you and use personal info. against you… However I am much more likely to open up to someone who shows an interest in my personal life. Maybe I should ask my boss about her kids.
I agree it can be tricky to navigate! It is all about trust. My advice would be to match their self-disclosure. If they tell you about their kids, then you can do the same. If your manager doesn't seem at all interested in you, then it is going to be hard to develop any kind of relationship!
There are some things that it is better NOT to self-disclose to your boss at all! No matter what they tell you.
Thank you for reading and commenting!