Communication Rebel Blog

The Surprising Secret of How You Can Fascinate Every Time You Open Your Mouth

How to FascinateHave you ever gotten lost in a conversation? Time flies by. No one exists but the person you’re talking to. You feel focused, present, and engaged.

If you’re nodding yes, then you’ve experienced fascination. Fascination is intense focus. It is spellbinding. It’s as if you can’t take your eyes off that person and can’t get enough of what they are saying.

And wouldn’t you love your audience to feel fascinated every time you get up to speak on stage, during a meeting or even in a webinar?

When you fascinate your audience or co-workers, your ideas get listened to, you stand out, and a bright light shines on the value you create (and this translates into more influence and more money).

Fascination may sound like hocus pocus witchcraft, but it’s not – it’s actually a science. Sally Hoghsead literally wrote the book on that science.

There’s a surprising secret to how you can be fascinating as a speaker, leader, or the CEO of your empire. And that secret is to become MORE of who you are.

Here are three ways to do just that:

  1. Stop focusing on fixing your weaknesses

Do you have a laundry list of issues you need to fix? You talk too fast. You talk too slow. You say umm. You’re not funny. You’re too funny.

The list of what’s wrong with you goes on and on.

To be truly fascinating, it’s not about fixing what is wrong with you as a speaker. It’s about enhancing and accentuating your strengths.

If you’re an ideas person, focus on generating more ideas. If you’re natural leader, do more of that. If you keep high standards, be the person who raises the bar on yourself and others.

Focus on making your strengths the centerpiece of what you communicate. Have those strengths take center stage every time your speak.

2. Let your freak flag fly

We spend our whole lives trying to fit in. Following the rules. Trying not to stir up too much trouble.

Well screw that! If you want to be a successful speaker, entrepreneur, or business leader embrace what makes you unique.

Do you think Richard Branson, Brene Brown or Oprah made it big because they hide their true self? No! They embraced their flaws, failures, and foibles (the trifecta of inner f-bombs) to become more of who they are.

Successful speakers tell us what they love, rant about what pisses them off, and bring their interests into their speeches.

Amanda Palmer’s TED Talk is a great example of letting your freak flag fly and making a huge impact by doing it.

She doesn’t hide who she is. She showcases the differences that make her stand out.

3. Understand how the world sees you

The way we see ourselves is not necessarily how other see us. When I was in the corporate world  I remember telling my boss, “I’m not a very creative person.” His mouth dropped open and he said “You’re one of the most creative people in this company.”

I was shocked. Clearly, this was a great example for me of how others see me differs significantly from  how I seemyself.

You might think “Great, now I have to poll everyone to find out how they see me.”

You could do that (and it would be effective), but there’s an easier way.

There’s better, faster way to find out how the world sees you based on the science behind marketing and branding. And this way is the Fascination Advantage Assessment®.

You’ll find out how others see you at your best, the way your communication style adds value to any speaking engagement, meeting, or webinar, and you’ll find out how you’re least likely to fascinate (your fascination quicksand).

When I took this assessment, I figured out why my boss saw me as the creative type. I speak the language of innovation. People look to me for ideas and leadership. It’s what makes me different.

Now, I bring those strengths to every speech I write, every conversation I have, and every blog post I write.

It’s what make me fascinating. Find your advantage, it can make you fascinating too.  

If you want people transfixed on you and your message every time you speak, you simply need to become MORE of who you are.

Cultivate your strengths. Let your freak flag fly. Know your Fascination Advantage Assessment®

The secret to being the most fascinating person in the room is becoming more of who you are.

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